He Renews.

That wasn’t me.

I am not that woman that he wants me to be.

I lay face down on my bed

Burning tears flowing down my cheeks,

he had already left a mark.

That branding iron had seared my arm.

I was left desperately wondering why I was not that woman.

Why I did not want to be the she he wanted me to be.

A heavenly cloud swooped in and lifted me from my misconstrued dwelling.

He looked me straight in the face and said over and over

That is not who I made you to be.

I do not want you to be the she he wants you to be. 

Yes, but what about this??

What about thisthisthisandthis??

Somebody on the outside was socking me in the stomach.

You’re not good enough.

You will never fit that mold.

You cannot be reset to your original factory setting,

There is no room for artistry here,

You are not wanted.

I ran.

I ran and somebody found me and said

He loves you.

I ran again.

I ran until I found a different home

and there, the man on the screen said,

You are no longer sin. 

You are redeemed.

He is your perfection.

Different people...

They gathered around me and prayed

and that mark on my arm began to fade

and He kept pursuing me like a lion.

So I stood in my tracks ready for the impact.

Wanting the impact.

And when it came holy tears flowed down my cheeks.

He loved me anyway.

Not because of what I had done

but because of who He is.

And that mold that I so desperately thought I needed to be in

was not mine. 

He is mine.

I am His.

and no man can tell me otherwise.

Today.

It's amazing how you can go from an enlightened evening to a manic morning. Last night, I was writing love notes to my eternal lover in my head, thanking Him for fellowship and His word. This morning, I found myself yelling and mildly cursing at my little brother for being disrespectful beyond reason towards my mother. He's crying over something stupid, Mom's upset that he's not listening, Dad comes home early from work just to talk with him over his behavior. I just left the house to get some supplies for a party this evening thinking about how I hate everybody today. I hate that cashier that just gave horrible customer service to an old man, I hate those people in the parking lots that are in front of me, I hate those two gang bangin' freaks that just cut me off multiple times; just don't mess, or I may run you over with my car in my head over and over and over again. Harsh, I know. But this is how I feel. Anger is controlling my life today, and when I leave it up to me to handle things, it just gets worse. So here's my prayer for the rest of today:

Lord, you know I'm mad. You know I want to just shut myself in my room until life is over for today. But, that can't happen. That's not supposed to happen. I am your child who is supposed to be becoming more like Jesus. So what happened today? I'm distraught over hearing the same thing from my little brother multiple times a week, I'm angry that my mother deals with it the way she does, and I'm sad that my father is the one expected to fix it, all the time. I want to give the entire situation to you, but when it happens over and over I feel like this little brother situation is completely hopeless. On top of that, we're supposed to act like a God-fearing, Christian family in front of Dad's employees at the Halloween party tonight. This will be a failure without you. We will fail. You're holding us together by what feels like a thin thread and I've been waiting for it to completely snap. HELP US, PLEASE! I know you do great and mighty things! You saved the Israelites from the Egyptians, You brought Jonah out of the whale, You made water into wine, You cast out demons, You walked on water, You brought people back from the dead. But when it comes to my immediate family situation, I struggle the most with trusting that You are powerful enough to redeem us. It's a sickening feeling. It's more than I can emotionally bear, as you have seen. Please Lord, remove my doubt. Help me depend on You and not myself. I fall when I forget that you are there, waiting for me to call on You. The rest of the day can be good. You are able to bless me with joy and patience. You are able to save my little brother from himself. You are able to restore my parents' lives to the way that it used to be, but better. Sanctify us to be more like Jesus. It's possible. I just have to keep reminding myself that it is. For now, I need to love little brother despite his actions. I need to support and love my parents in whatever decisions they make for us as a family. I need to watch my anger, my words, my attitude. It's a very bumpy and windy road we are on right now. You've placed these trials in my little family's life for a reason. Remind me that You are sanctifying us in them. That You love us still, even when we suck at life, and when we hate each other. Remind me that Your love never fails. That You are bigger than every trial that we face. This doesn't feel like a small trial. I know it's big. But You are the Creator of the universe who holds us together. You are my Rock and strength for each day. You provide me with breath to breathe, and a heart that beats. You are the Savior of my soul, and because of that, I will find rest. Today is a very short time compared to eternity with You. Thank You for keeping me alive today, and for providing me with a family I know still loves me, despite its many faults. Thank You, my Awesome Giver, my Jesus, 

Amen. 

Maranatha. Come, Oh Lord.

I need to eat more.

It's late (of course) and I find myself in bed thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about. I'm sure many can relate to the feeling of loneliness sometimes. It's a place where you forget about how much God wants you to talk to Him. It's where you keep digging a hole for yourself, just to sit in the dirt & wonder how you got there. You distract your mind with other things & try to fill up this hole with everything but the Savior. After being on the internet for too long (my personal downfall) I made the decision to listen to a little bit of Shane & Shane music because I knew that if I was going to be too stubborn to crack open God's Word, I at least can have somebody sing truth into my ears, just to force it in somehow because I know I need it. Of course, as expected, it brought me to my most vulnerable state (in case you're wondering, it was "Crucify Him" & "In a Little While" that did it) where I understood that I had starved myself all day, & I needed something, anything, to eat. I grabbed my Bible as fast as I could & opened it to Daniel, the book I've been studying.

Daniel & the lion's den. Classic Sunday School story. Being the fallen person that I am, I read it & thought to myself, "God, I want to be like Daniel & be such a great servant for you that you would shut the mouths of lions for me & save me." It didn't take me long to realize how STUPID that must have sounded to Him. Shane & Shane's song lyrics on Christ's crucifixion quickly popped into my mind & I suddenly remembered...HE ALREADY SAVED ME! I AM NOT SAVED BY WORKS! (Thank God, although I really would like to be as resolved as Daniel ;D). He provided us with His Son, what more do I need?? Daniel didn't even get to hear or read about Jesus' life on earth, how can I be jealous?? (Now I'm left feeling kinda bad for Daniel, HA!).

After I have this awesome moment I continue to read about the lions that tore up the satraps & their families before they hit the floor of the den, & King Darius, the gentile, singing praises to God. Wow. It's amazing how His word truly is alive. When He reminds you of how powerful & great He is, the thoughts you had earlier just seem so beyond foolish afterwards. He saves. He's gracious. He's near. He's beyond full comprehension. And yet, I continue to starve myself throughout the day!

In Shane & Shane's song "In a Little While" they sing about "unveiled eyes seeing glory untattered" in the New Jerusalem. I can't wait for that day because honestly, sin is exhausting & I'm sick of it. Having this feeling of awe needs to be constant, & I know there will come a day when that will be my life.

Daniel 6, Hebrews 4:12, and really, Colossians 3:2.

Maranatha. Come, Oh Lord.

Whaddya Think?

Yesterday my mother and I were watching the news, and I heard a phrase that started out like this, "All children deserve the best ______" (I cannot recall what it was now, but that does not matter for understanding purposes). The word 'deserve' has never had a postive meaning for me. I wanted to pick apart this phrase because, I have been taught all my life, that everyone deserves death. I am not going to disagree with that statement, because I do believe in total depravity, (being born into sin through Adam, Romans 5:12). However, I felt convicted about saying that all children do not deserve the best ______. Biblically, am I wrong? 

I have been in the book of Matthew for sometime in my personal bible study, and studying Christ's attributes is both a huge task and a blessing. There is so much to learn, but it does not cease to place me in awe at night as I read in bed. Children's minds are shaped by how we treat them. They are influenced by the teachings around them and by our sin.

Matthew 18:5-6 states,  
“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." 

Jesus had previously praised child-like humility in verses 2-4, ^"And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

So far we have: 1. Do not lead a child into sin, and 2. humble yourself like a child. I suppose what I am trying to get at is that children are a big deal in the eyes of Jesus. In the next chapter (verses13-15), He prays over them, and boldly states, "...the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (v 14b). Have you ever stopped to meditate on that incredible truth?? Wow!

The Bible commands that we raise Godly children through His word and through discipline, (Proverbs is the book to read, folks!). It also demands thankfulness for children in calling them blessings from God (Psalm 127:3-5). Therefore, I  feel that I can conclude that they deserve the best parenting. 

In conclusion, I suppose the question should be shifted from, "Do they deserve the best?" to "What is your definition of parenting, do you base it off of what Scripture, or what the world tells you?" Now that's somethin' to think about! ;D

Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha. 

He Quenched My Thirst

I cannot describe it plainly

It’s like a child sprinting from the waves

Or a sickness that engulfs the body vainly
It sends our souls to our graves

It’s like the shadows of yesterday are coming
And illusions attack you from behind

But the battle drums keep drumming

And the troops are all aligned

And their swords have been revealed

And my mind embraces new release

For the source of life is no longer concealed  

And the moans within have deceased

Now I’m jumping instead of running

And revitalizing all that was dead

This ink and paper that is beyond stunning!

My foes have now all fled!

There’s a sweetness in the air

I can taste that it is good

The fragrance is drifting from over there

I’d take you with me if I could!

But alas, this journey was destined for me,

Even if your bookshelf possesses the key...

I Tricked Ya!

I told the few people who read this that my next blog post was going to be a book review. However, this post is not on the book I originally had plans for, (I hope to finish that other book once school ends). I actually just finished a "parental guide" on adolescence entitled Why Do They Act That Way? by Dr. David Walsh, and so many thoughts are streaming through my head right now. I am wondering how my teenage years went by so quickly, and if the stories I read in the book could relate to how I treated my parents. I am reflecting on how grateful I am for God's mercy and grace in saving me during my teenage years, and providing me with parents who loved Him too. Yet, I keep shifting my focus from my recent past to the current situation in the family with a teenage boy who desperately fights for independence.

Discernment is one of the greatest gifts that God gives us as His adopted children. I am feeling especially grateful for that right now. This book was, by no means, written with a Scriptural foundation in mind, but I still see how the Lord has used it to help me love, and at least try to understand, my teenage brother more, bit by bit. I have tried my best to knock on his bedroom door before I enter, in respect to his strangely new desire for privacy and his own space. When it comes to his emotional outbursts, I make more attempts at remaining calm, and explaining the given situation in a more rational point of view that he would understand. However, I find myself at a crossroads of wanting to support my parents decisions, whatever they may be, while simultaneously ditching my sibling role completely and becoming a third parent myself.

This book was just a strange read for me altogether. I am no longer a teenager, yet I am not a parent. I have no idea what it is really like to have my own child argue with me on the rules I have set for their benefit. I have no clue what it is like to have a happy-go-lucky little girl turn into a depressed teen in the blink of an eye. I cannot even imagine how I would react to a teenage son tell me that his girlfriend has confessed an abusive situation at home. What??? As I read the "mouthy" mistakes that Dr. Walsh made towards teens in school, I know I probably would have said the exact same things, if not more than he did.

So, do I just pray that if the Lord decides to bless me with kids one day, that by the time they're teens I'll be a completely different person by then? I know that as a Christian, spiritual growth will make me a different person by the time my kids are teens, but really, I am sure there will be days when I just do not feel like dealing with them. I am sure there will be times when I'll say something to my child that I will regret. In other words, OH LORD, PLEASE PROTECT MY FUTURE CHILDREN! ;D

An age of adolescence is simultaneously ending and beginning at this house. The oldest is moving out tomorrow. My sister is doing the same in a couple weeks. And while all this is happening, my little brother's body and brain are going through some major changes. Soon, it will just be adult me and teenage bro. You may entitle this a scary situation. Little Bro is already distraught over living with just me, and I don't really blame him! From his point of view, I'm the evil sibling who attempts to enforce parental rules. He no longer wants to hang out, and he's tired of me telling him what to do, and "getting in his biz". I often hear, "Why don't you just stick your giant nose somewhere else, Purp!". My obvious concern over parental feuds and his behavior just ends up creating a bigger scene than it needs to be.

As an older sibling...I hope to play some kind of role in his adolescence. I want him to look back as an adult and have positive memories of when we lived together. I don't want him to dreadfully recall all the times we argued, or the all the times I yelled at him for not listening. If you're reading this, you probably know that I am not known to have great relationships with my other siblings either. My older brother, yes, but my sister...well, the few of you that read this know what I am referring to. I want this relationship to be different. I want the best for my little brother, an even better age of adolescence than my own! I don't want him to make the same mistakes I did. I want him to go to the best school and receive an education that challenges him. I want him to find out what his strengths are, and build upon them! I want him to love Jesus more than I ever loved Him in high school, and I want to prevent him from getting as prideful as I was in my faith. (I know, an oxymoron, how can you have a Christ-like faith and be prideful?? Try to understand what I meant, I had a bad case of self-righteous-itis).

I'm sure if my professor read this she would be overjoyed that her book assignment got through to me. However, I find this to be, yet again, another great act of the Holy Spirit. I feel that if I read this book maybe even a year ago, I would have blown it off and thought it to be another cheesy, useless Development book. The Lord has greater plans than that. He planned it out so that my heart was ready to read this book. Even though there weren't any Scripture references involved, He still exposed some blatant truths that need to be worked on. 1. Before now, I haven't tried my best to love and understand my little brother; 2. I need to stop being a parent while keeping appropriate communications with my parents, and 3. The Lord can restore this situation if I set an example for younger sibling in every aspect. (ex., if I want to see him respect and obey my mother right away, I need to model that for him).

Here are some biblical verses (italics added) to go along with Dr. Walsh's advice on how to deal with teenagers. It is simple and obvious, yet we don't do it. (I don't know if the Doc knows this, but it is also helpful for people of all ages. ;D)

"Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;" (James 1:19)

"And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 5:2)

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise)." (Ephesians 6:1-2)

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another..." (James 5:16)

"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger," (Ephesians 4:26)

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Interesting how secular advice brings up everlasting principles, huh? He gives us His word for a reason guys...

Why Sarah, are you just now figuring this out at 21?? Ya, I know, let Him redeem it all for His glory. ;D


Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha. 

Ed-you-mah-kay-shun.

Does anything get you excited about school? This is a serious question. The latest essay assignment I have been working on is about the American school system; identify what you think the main problem is and three aspects of that issue. We had some great discussions in class today as we presented our powerpoints, (mainly on the lack of motivation, funds, etc.) and on the way home from school I kept thinking to myself, "how can I correlate my knowledge and education with Biblical concepts? 

At the end of class this evening we were told to write about our most "successful" school year and why we thought it was the most successful. We also had to identify what "successful" meant to us in that context. I chose to write about my senior year in high school when I ditched P.E. and math. That year, I  felt entitled to a more relaxed schedule and to classes that I truly wanted to take, for after three years of failing to cram mathematical equations in my head and making a fool of myself in athletics, I was done. It certainly was easier to get good grades on the other subjects. During my senior year, I enjoyed being in class and learning "different types" of subjects (for the most part). Bible Literature, Advanced Composition, Anatomy and Physiology, Photography; I remember concepts from each class because I was interested in the subject, and so was the teacher. 

So as I'm driving down Serrano, I'm wondering why God gives us these special interests in school. I'm thinking more outside of the body of Christ. I was reminded of an earlier, and very brief, text conversation with my college bestie earlier this week, (or 2 weeks ago, I don't remember). After browsing facebook for a bit, I got depressed about how such an amazing thing, the internet, can be used for such great evil. My fellow sister in Christ reminded me that good things have always been perverted since Adam and Eve, and that the internet was just another victim of our sin. I had to remind myself that math in itself is not an evil thing, so why do I think of it as such? I don't understand it, therefore it's horrible. I recognize that the Fall has prevented me from obtaining that knowledge. 

But imagine an educational world without the effects of sin. Imagine being able to understand every subject the first time it was taught. I would cry tears of joy if I just, out of the blue, began to understand mathematical concepts that have been taught hundreds of times throughout my school years. And, it would be miraculous if I actually learned how to play sports and play them well! 

I don't recall much from my college chemistry course, (sorry Doc, the chem. concepts just never made it through those membranous doors!) but I do remember our first lecture on Christ. I have a feeling, he wouldn't be too displeased with that answer anyways, because it has shaped my views on education probably more than he knows! This is what I got from it: Jesus is all knowing; as Christians we need to become more like Jesus; therefore, knowledge is a good thing that we should strive for to become more like Him. 

God created language. He created science. He created math. He created the arts. He knows all. We obviously cannot obtain every little bit of information in our fallen brains, but He has blessed us with the ability to obtain some. When I think about our educational system, I must admit, I quickly see failures. I very much want to complain about how I've just regurgitated the same information multiple times to get to where I am today without learning. However, as I analyze our educational system, I find myself more appreciative of the person of Jesus. Luke's account of 12 year old Jesus in chapter 2 gives us a picture of the sinless student, listening and asking questions of his teachers. Not too long afterwards, Jesus is the picture of the perfect teacher, attending to His students questions and answering them in a unique way, knowing their capabilities and what would best benefit them. The student- teacher relationship is precious, and each occupation should be seen as honorable, for Jesus was both! And of course, to this day He still teaches. 

School is a common grace, and the knowledge we will receive in heaven as Christians is unfathomable! It makes me want to thank the good Lord for education! (Weird how I said that...)

Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha. 

'Tis a Good Friday!

I woke up this morning thinking, "Why am I awake right now?...Oh I have school this morning...Maybe I should sleep in and not go..." like so many other college students. However, my thought process continued with, "It's Good Friday, that could be a good excuse to not go to class! I'll just go to the restroom and make my decision after I get up on whether or not I'll go!". As I dragged myself out of bed, I thought of the possible consequences of not going to school...how my father would be disappointed in me after finding out I had school today, how my mother would react in seeing that I did not go, and how I would miss my dear friends in class and a possible in-class assignment. Then I thought of the benefits of sleeping in (since I was awakened twice in the middle of the night by a restless hamster), and the excuse of, "Oh if I sleep in, I can just open up God's word after I wake up and read about His crucifixion then!" as if that would make me feel better about myself. Overall, I feel ridiculous thinking these things. Ultimately, I made the decision to go to school. 

Last night I had stayed up late reading Matthew 26-27:56, the plot to kill Jesus through His crucifixion. I'm glad I did. The Holy Spirit sometimes reveals strange things to you when you're tired. This morning He reminded me that I'm using a day to remember His crucifixion as an excuse to make myself more comfortable. How ironic is that?? It finally clicked as I was battling my first world decision in my head on the way to the bathroom (lol). How is it a blessing to the Lord to possibly disappoint my parents and make myself even more comfortable on a day to remember such sacrifice and pain? How does that make sense? Not only that, but He also knows my heart. He knows that I foolishly thought about "making it up to Him" by reading His word after sleeping in, as if He needs me! Puhleez. I should be sacrificing more, even if it is just a man-made holiday! That would make more sense than listening to my flesh. I'm still baffled over the fact that I'm just now learning this. It's completely humbling. 

And in all this, He continues to bless me. 1. Dad woke up while I was getting ready for school today and made a large pot of coffee to share with me. 2. I had time to read a different account of His crucifixion (John 18-19:30) in my car before class started. 3. My classmates made me laugh and smile as they shared stories and lovingly asked how I was doing. 4. My sister and I got to visit our best friend at work and do a little shopping together without any irritated quarrels. 5. At work, our newest co-worker revealed to me that she loves Jesus too, and helped me so much in the bakery with her joyful heart and readiness to serve! I'm counting my blessings and they're stacked up so high! I would keep going, but I don't want to bore you or make you jealous! ;D 

I'm at the end of my day now and I'm reminding myself that the great thing about His crucifixion is that it's not the end of the story. Easter is coming up, and I get to celebrate His resurrection with my church family and my biological family...and now that I think about it, I shouldn't be as bummed as I have been about having to work on Sunday afternoon! Maybe I should be excited about working on Sunday, since He is the great and almighty Savior, who conquered death, that I may serve Him well no matter where I am...or how tired I may be. 

Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha.

He is Present...and It's Scary.

I don't know what the exact reason is for this, but I feel very isolated in some of my community college classes. Today, for instance, I sat there surrounded by young people who just graduated high school not too long ago, and older women taking sign language for reasons I am unsure of. The Freshies were chatting amongst themselves on different topics and the older women were chatting with each other...and I sit there and wonder if I'm the only in betweener (age-wise) there...and if anyone else loves Jesus too. The conversations the Freshies have are never wholesome; there's an f-bomb in almost every sentence and a lot of complaining and party talk...and to be honest, my desire is to find just one brother or sister to talk to in some of these classes. As I'm typing this, I wonder if it's my pride that holds me back from talking to these 'kids', or if it's a genuine disdain for the topics they are discussing; it's probably both. 

Lately, there have been a lot of other things that keep reminding me that Satan is always at work here. In class, I've got a kid behind me content in the false teachings of Joseph Smith and a kid in front of me with a shirt that reads "Jesus Loathes You". In my own life, I've dealt with regularly scheduled nightmares that tempt me to think that God isn't near. I've got a sister who recently told me a business interview turned into a confession from a woman of the intense hatred she has for God's children. Meanwhile, on facebook, there's a friend posting everything he can about gay pride and his identity as a homosexual. It’s as if Satan is saying “YES, I AM THE PRINCE OF THE EARTH!”...and it scares me. 

I don’t want to pretend that he isn’t active or powerful once you’re saved. However, I don’t want to underestimate the power of Trinity. My pastor mentioned this past weekend a few types of afflictions that I now see relate to what I’ve gone through/seen recently, including demonic affliction (what I believe was behind my nightmares), vicarious affliction (hatred towards Jesus=hatred towards you), and empathetic affliction (you hurt because they're hurting). It all confirms the fact that we live in a fallen world. However, I’m glad that Scripture tells us that afflictions have a purpose, whether we see that right away or not,
“...but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5).

My pastor also reminded me that, “Jesus suffered the most...and righteously.”,

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faiththat I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,” Philippians 3:8-10.

When I see my suffering as “meaningful, powerful, and purposeful” (from my sermon notes) I can reflect Christ more by the power of the Holy Spirit, “becoming like him in his death”. Sure, the devil may have a hand in the goings-on of this world, but he has no power compared to the greatness of the Holy Spirit! This is a comfort to me, and should be a comfort to you if you know and love Jesus! However, I fear for the woman I mentioned who hates Christians, for the students in my classes, and for my apathetic co-workers. Maybe this should cause a greater urgency in my prayers for them, since it’s only by His grace that I’m not in that place anymore...

Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha.

Valentine's Day

Too much is going through my head on Valentine's Day. I keep trying to figure out the meaning of it. For some, it's a day to adore a special someone; for others, it's a day to remember the love of Christ... and for the festive ones, it's a day to sprinkle hearts over everything they see! I just keep thinking...well, shouldn't we appreciate our 'special someone' everyday? And what about the love of Christ, is that just a comfort for the single ones all wanting to have that special someone? It's almost as if the single Christians are like, "Well, we don't have our 'significant other' yet, but we have Jesus!" in order to cover up their loneliness on a day focused on couples. They make it seem like Christ's love on the cross is a 'back up' of sorts. What I find amazing is that there are only so few who will sit there and admit that Valentine's Day sucks. (Thank you roommate!). Single people try to make themselves feel better by going out with their friends, or indulging in chocolates until the day is done. Afterwards, we all look to our calendars and try to remember what President's Day means, and rejoice in the fact that school and (sometimes) work is cancelled!

Two mormons on their bikes inspired this post. I was driving to work today, trying to figure out the significance of today, and then I saw them. I kept thinking, "Wow...they have never really experienced true love...". It made me want to cry. You know why today and every other day is significant? It's another chance at life. It's another day to decide whether you will live for Him or not. This is for those two men on their bikes. It's for all those customers with the bindi on their foreheads and for those apathetic agnostics casually walking across the college campus. Today's post is a prayer for the lost. I cannot explain it to you, (it must be the Holy Spirit), but my heart was especially broken for those who don't know Christ. I don't want to sit here and post my quick shout out to Jesus on facebook and then move on. I want to love people. I want to give back to my new manager who gave me a warm hug today. I want to demonstrate the honest gratitude I had for my co-worker in teaching me how to decorate cupcakes. I feel a need to share and give the truth, not just show and tell it. I don't want to be that t.v. chef that tempts you with all the delicious food and gives you no possible chance to taste it for yourselves. May you taste and see that God is good to us! (Psalm 34:8). May my life reflect this so much that when I come across anyone, they don't see so much of me anymore. May they see Jesus. 

People are gifts to one another. People paint us a picture of grace and beauty and love, despite depravity. I hate 'em, but I love 'em. Just bein' honest here, I'm not actually Jesus! ;D BUT His Holy Spirit is present, and He is powerful! Salvation is miraculous, and may I not forget that...for out of the the darkness He rescued me, and He wants to rescue more than just me...so who's He going to save next?? :)

Come, Oh Lord. Maranatha.